-Lady Xpressions -

Thoughts


I use these lines to write my thoughts

but my thoughts aren’t as clear as it should.
I’m trying to fight off the emotions pulling me back
but it won’t stop haunting me, as if it would.
I’m being pushed and pulled constantly
as if I’m trying to fight for my last breath.
Thoughts, why do you consume me with your time?
give me at least a week to rest.
I toss & turn throughout the night
praying & hoping I can finally sleep.
My sleep keeps being interrupted by my thoughts
whispering, “invite me in, I can help you feel complete.”
I’m scared. I’m confused.
Should I embrace the unknowing or keep running?
Is this bad timing? Is it safe?
What should I do? Thinking…thinking..
So, I finally decide to surrender & embrace my thoughts
I’ve tried hiding but my thoughts always found me.
Wait…this can’t be what I’m running from
It’s too late to run. It’s too late to undo what I already see.
I don’t want to face the truth
Is this the beginning or the end?
So, I stop running and look behind me
Love, you have found me yet again.


Face 2 Face

I am looking in the mirror and a stranger is looking back
Its’ eyes stares back into mine but my eyes cannot keep the eye contact.
The face almost seems recognizable
But it holds a confused look with a puzzled look.
The skin seems rough, expressing pain from past experiences
That’s something I have endured, not wanting to expose my disguised innocence.
Somehow, I once felt what this stranger now feels, before
I was lost and holding onto hurt wanting to be happy and enjoy life more.
Now, I am looking in the mirror and the person I recognize is looking back
Stronger, happier, surpassing the fear that no longer last.
She looks down to the envelop that’s sealed and then she firmly kiss
Inside, she writes her goodbye to the stranger  she will no longer miss.
Goodbye to the lies, low self esteem, and lacking of confidence within herself
Goodbye to this stranger and I welcome a clear, view of my new self.


The Emotion I Have

My veins drips with fire
It has a rushing, heated temperature
Anger is the emotion I have
I try to brush it off, but the emotion only linger.
Negativity is uninvited to my mentality
Positivity tries to consume my sanity
Anger is the emotion I have
God, please grant me with serenity.
My temperature only rises
Like a hot day when the sun is up
Anger is the emotion I have
When the “don’t touch button” is pushed, the emotion of anger erupt.
Anger is here, the heart beats fast
Anger is here, how long will it last?
Anger is the emotion I have
Anger seems to show up when liars, deceivers, and betrayers like to disturb a peaceful path.
When anger surfaces
It is immature and with full threat
Not thinking clearly, only acting on emotion
Ignoring advice and not caring to hold it’s breath.
It seeks to hold grudges
It is likely to be impatient
It’s seeks to harm people, not caring what that may endeavor
Not wanting to manage its own anger but only wanting to continue it.
Laughter turns into cries
Pain increases hurt
Anger is the emotion I have
Anger disrupts happiness, is it really the worth?
Worth losing family, a friend, or a relationship?
If they died tomorrow, was anger even worth the risk?
Anger doesn’t care whenever the time comes for it to strike
But is anger worth losing their or even your life?
What about the worth of losing opportunities
Or worth of losing respect?
Ask yourself “is anger the emotion I ought to have?”
Its not worth it when nothing or no one is here, nothing or no one is left?
When we hurt we automatically want others to hurt when they have hurt us
But should we give anger the power to empower over us?
Think about it.
-Lady Xpressions -